Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Day 30:

"In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."

The last week has been very trying in many different aspects.  There has been much change which has created a lot of fuss in the world.  There have been things changed at our work places and change in rules or laws or whatever little change has taken in place in my life and in yours.  But tonight I realized that we complain and stress over some change that has affected to us, but then I turn on the news and see that Japan is suffering like none of us can even imagine.  Their country is in ruins after the largest most powerful earth quake in their history.  Over $35 BILLION in damages, not to mention the thousands of lives lost - men, women, children, WHOLE families, swept away in an instant.

I realize some little change in my life is nothing like what these people are experiencing right now.  I know we all have little things that stress us out or just bug the shit out of us, but just tell yourself that it could be worse.  You or me or anyone could have been affected like these poor folks have.  So today I will not blog about my stress at work or my stress with finances or my stress with killing Big Fred, but we should just be thankful we have our lives and a job and people who love us.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Days 25-29:

It has been a few days since my last post.  Just haven't been able to get to the Internet box to update yal.  Things are going great; I have killed off another 7 life points of Big Fred.  So that brings me to a total of 27 life points, just killing Big Fred one day at a time!  He started with 157 band is now down to 130!!!

Not a whole lot else new, unfortunately I haven't been able to make it to my morning beatings of Big Fred, so he has been getting by easy this week, but I kinda feel like it's time for that to catch up to him. I heard the N.E.R.D calling his name.  I will honestly try tomorrow to wake my ass up! lol

I have kept Big Fred's diet the same basically, however I have been feeding him some different supplements to keep him from bleeding all over the N.E.R.D.  So I will try to keep ya posted more often, and of course any feedback or suggestions are much appreciated!

People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Day 24:

Wow 24 days so far.  I am pleasantly surprise I have been able to keep it up this long.  Torture and punishment aren't some of my strong suits.   Day was another successful day even though I didn't wake up early enough to torture Big Fred before work.  I found that I really enjoy using the N.E.R.D. machine on Big Fred for his punishment.  In case you aren't familiar with the N.E.R.D. machine, which can be found at any local "Y", it stands for "Never Ending Running Doohickey".  The name speaks for it self, basically I run Big Fred until he can't take it anymore, until he is screaming for mercy, until I can actually see his shin splints forming stress fractures in his lower legs!

Today I also beat Big Fred at one of his own games.  He had contracted my manager to try and sabotage me.  My manager came to me today with what might be considered my version of kryptonite...  those delicious Girl Scout cookies commonly known as SAMOA's!  The quite possibly are the best cookie ever invented; the sweet cookies covered in caramel and toasted coconut, then drizzled in chocolate.... OMG!  But as quickly as I feel in love with these cookies, I had realized it was a ruse.  So I declined the magnificent offer as if I hadn't caught on, as who knows what could have been in those cookies... arsenic, zyklon B, white phosphorus, or even tetramethylenedisulfotetramine. I'm on to you Big Fred.

So tomorrow is another day, and I am seriously going to try to get my ass up at 4:45am to have enough time to get Big Fred a little more acquainted with senor N.E.R.D.

So long and good night!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Days 22 & 23:


So, a lot of you don't know how this hate for Big Fred came about, so I'd like to shine some light on this whole fiasco...

I wasn't always friends with Big Fred; in fact I didn't even meet Big Fred until I moved from Michigan to California in the winter of 1995 or so.  I don't know if it was just meant to be, like genetics, or if it was stress do to moving so far from where I had called home for 9 years of my life or stress from being the new kid in school.  But Big Fred and I gradually became friends and we were inseparable.  We would do everything together; play video games, watch TV, eat ice cream, and even sleep together (in a completely heterosexual way).  But I soon noticed that with Big Fred around it seemed like it was hard to make friends.  Most kids would just laugh at us and reluctantly pick us last for kickball.  Don’t get me wrong; I did have friends and usually a couple of 'em at a time.  By no means was I a loner. 

Big Fred seemed to be holding me back from things I wanted to do and in high school it really started to get to me.  I had always wanted to be the star quarterback or the fastest track runner but because of Big Fred is was defaulted to the offensive line on the football team and the only track/field event that I could do was shot put... and who really just wants to throw metal balls around all day, eff that!  One time I went to Six Flags with Big Fred and my friend Tony; I remember trying to get on one of the roller coasters that had those shoulder harnesses and because Big Fred had to sit by me we barely were able to get the harness over us...  I almost was unable to ride a roller coaster because of this DAMN Big Fred. 

I had tried several times to "break up" with Big Fred, but he never got the hint, I tried and tried and tried.  So finally I just gave up on it and gave into Big Fred's needy love interest.  UNTIL NOW...

So that gives you a little background into the lives of Big Fred and myself.  As you can see Big Fred needs to go, I cannot have him affecting my life with my baby girls and wife.  I will periodically post some of these "fond" (note the sarcasm) memories of Big Fred and I to remind myself of all the pain he has caused me! 

I will leave you tonight with this quote, by an unknown author, to ponder as you head off to bed... "Many of the great achievements of the world were accomplished by tired and discouraged men who kept on working."

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Day 21:

Just another typical Sunday.  Took it easy today, let Big Fred have a day off.  But tomorrow its on... 

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Days 19 & 20:

Even though Big Fred kept me from our morning punishments I was still able to carry out those deeds three times this week and will hope to do it more frequent next week.

Some have recently brought it to my attention that Big Fred may not be getting the nutrition and vitamins he needs to survive.  I know the plan is to kill Big Fred, but it cannot happen over night.  So I took their advice and bought a multi-vitamin pack from the Costco this weekend.  

That's all I have for the last couple days.  Will keep you all posted if anything new comes about.  Oh Big Fred did smash my big toe this past week causing similar symptoms to what is commonly known as "Turf Toe".  So we'll see how this affects my torture plans for next week.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Day 17 & 18

I would first like to apologize to all of my followers and fans, (hahaha ok Paul) that it has been a couple days since my last post...

There are many different types of warfare; conventional, nuclear, biological, chemical, radiological, cyber, but quite possibly the most difficult type of warfare to understand is "mental warfare".  Mental warfare is the distortion of the enemy's perception of reality through disinformation, ambiguous posturing, and/or severing of the communication/information infrastructure.  It seems that Big Fred is a master of mental warfare.  All week I have been vowing to get up in the early AM to carry out the physical punishments on Big Fred, but each day he has successfully stopped me.  But nonetheless I still have carried out these physical torture regiments 3 times this week!  But my goal for next week is to spend a little more time with Mr. Big Fred... if you know what I mean ;-)

I feel like I need to lower the amount of nutrition that Big Fred gets... but I am not sure that it would be the right thing to do at this point.  He basically is fed one homemade low Cal breakfast sandwich (egg, cheese, ham, on wheat bread... total WW pts. = 10) and for lunch he gets either string cheese/fruit or sometimes chicken on wheat crackers (WW pts. = 4) and random small dinners consisting or veggies, chicken, low carb wheat pastas.  So I know he is getting enough nutrition, but it might just be right on the boarder of too little and just right.  Plus he is forced to consume massive amounts of water, typically 1.5-2 gallons a day.  So I think I will leave him where he is at for now, until I start killing off more of him.

"One day you will take a fork in the road, and you’re going to have to make a decision about which direction you want to go. If you go one way, you can be somebody. And in life there is often a roll call, that’s when you have to make a decision: to be or to do.”